With graduation drawing near and my parents working hard to save up for their only child’s university fees that will come soon,
there’s this extra pressure of pursuing a job or career path that will churn out a good amount of money so I can support both my parents and obviously myself.
I’m sure (or I think) many people around my age are feeling this.
This is a burden that I think only-childs feel more than those who have siblings. For obvious reasons.
Even worse when coming from either a low or middle income background.
As much as I know that those with rich parents probably have these problems as well, I honestly feel they already have a headstart.
(eg. being able to send you overseas to study easily/large savings already in the bank to fall back on if in trouble/etc.)
“Oh, you’ll be able to buy this house nexttime la. Sure can.”
“You have to work hard to earn a lot so can support both of us.”
“I read that your kind of course getting quite sought after in the industry ah.”
I hear this so often from my parents.
What if I’m not able to? What if I can only get a job which barely pays the rent? What if I can’t get a job at all?
How am I suppose to repay everything and support my parents? How am I even going to support myself?
Perhaps this is ‘thinking too far’ or ‘too negatively’.
But let’s face it, turning 21 this year means the time for frolicking around in a meadow of blissful youth is going to end soon.
This is Singapore too, with the ever increasing living expenditure.
And this is also why I do not intend on staying here longer. (But then again, it is happening everywhere.)
I want to broaden my horizons and not wake up to feel like a worker bee living in a country full of hives.
I love being positive, and hearing things like ‘live your life to the fullest’, and stuff.
I definitely support this.
But in a world where material things like money get you by more than anything else,
it’s hard to not to worry. A lot.
Or maybe it’s because I don’t ‘YOLO’ enough.
I’m doing the very best I can. I’m pursuing what I love, even when there’s slight uncertainty lingering.
I hope this desire leads me to places.
As much as these thoughts haunt my mind more than anything else in my life currently,
I need this fear and passion to keep on going.
If all hope is lost one day, being a tai-tai would be a sad option.
Unfortunately, I am not tai-tai material too. OH WELL.